Queens & Knights
by aikakone
Summary: An anthology of unrelated one-shot challenges about Laura Roslin or Lee Adama, and sometimes Laura and Lee together. Details inside.
1. Breasts

"**Mood" Challenge  
**Rules:  
Roslin-centric (doesn't have to be her POV, and you can pair her with anyone you like)  
No more than 200 words.  
Based on one of the following emotions: 1) Anger. 2) Disappointment. 3) Jealousy.

_Title: Breasts  
__Emotion: Anger/Disappointment  
__Spoilers: Through "Acts of Contrition"_

-&-;  
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It's cold in the doctor's office, if it can even be called an office. As I wait for him, my nipples perk from the chill. There it is, coming to remind me. My breasts respond, and I have breast cancer. It's as if my body can not allow me to forget.

When I was younger, boys would fondle me during sex and touch my breasts with fascination. It changed little with age and other men. As I got older, I hid my breasts beneath suits and appropriate professional wear. A teacher does not flaunt her assets, and the Secretary of Education would do it even less. Now as the President, they have become something I am not able to ignore.

It is a philosophical rumination that the idea of womanhood is contained in a breast. Men don't have them—certainly not the same way we do. A mother provides milk for her child; she provides life. Now my breasts provide nothing for me but death.

When the doctor enters, I already know that there is nothing conventional medical science can do for me. That fact is colder than the air around me. I suggest an alternative because I must overcome.


	2. Nuggets Big and Small

"**Acts of Contrition" Challenge  
**Rules:  
Write a missing scene with Laura Roslin and Lee Adama.  
It can be any length or genre the writer chooses, but preferably after Laura's doctor appointment.

_Spoilers: Acts of Contrition  
__Title: Nuggets Big and Small_

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President Laura Roslin smoothed the fabric of her suit jacket as she walked away from her appointment with the doctor. Considering the minimal amount of time they'd spent discussing things, she could have not even bothered to change into the drafty examining gown. She thought briefly of her scant items clothing and how they'd become the de facto uniform of the President since that's all she have to wear ever again unless some textiles miracle happened. Considering the state of humanity, that wasn't high on the list of priorities.

She took in the marines around her and the uniforms they wore. At least for them it was the natural way of things. Of course, the uniforms looked better on some people than others. She was reminded of it when Captain Lee Adama fell in step beside her.

"Good afternoon, Madam President," greeted with distracted smile. He had a clipboard in his hands and briefly reminded Roslin of her young aide Billy.

"Captain Apollo," she acknowledged with a tilt of her head. Even though he knew of her cancer, she wasn't sure that she wanted to see him so soon after going to her appointment. "What mission is it today?"

"I'm headed to the shuttle bay…"

"As am I," she interrupted. "You're not on your way to _Colonial One_, are you?"

"No, ma'am. I am going to the civilian fleet to see if we have any potential nuggets."

Laura smiled ruefully. "Nuggets, Captain?"

Apollo looked at her, momentarily surprised that she didn't know the lingo, but that was one of the areas where she wanted his help. "We need new viper pilots, Madam President."

"I'm sorry," she said soberly as she remembered the accident on the flight deck. "Why are the new recruits called nuggets?"

Lee stopped walking because he was so used to the term nugget that he had to think of the origin. "It's like gold. First a nugget of gold is found, but it's not usable just yet. Then it's burned until all the impurities go away, so we can use it."

Laura nodded her head, impressed with the logic of his answer. "It makes sense. It's a trial by fire."

"Yes, somewhat like what's happened to you, Madame President," he said respectfully.

"Captain," she said sharply, not sure if he was referring to her cancer or the destruction of most of the human race.

"I meant no harm!" he quickly said. "You have been through things that would make lesser people crumble, and now we're finding the gold."

"Thank you, Captain Apollo," she said, pleasantly surprised at his explanation.

"Yes, Madam President," he answered with a tip of his head before going to his separate shuttle.


	3. Zip Locked!

"**Caught" Challenge  
**Rules:  
1) Someone, preferably Adama, must catch Laura/Lee in the act. Whether they were just kissing or more is up to you.  
2) Must include the phrase, "I didn't know you were double jointed!"  
3) Whipped cream.  
4) Someone saying, "I've never seen that before."

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_Title: Zip Locked!_

_-_

Several pairs of eyes looked around the room at each other in suspicion. A drop of sweat trickled down Baltar's temple. Boomer shot him a seething, knowing glance, and the doctor knew his charade was over.

"I fold," he said putting his cards on the table.

On the other side, Starbuck congratulated herself for winning yet another game by lighting up a victory cigar.

"I've never seen that before," Lieutenant Gaeta said sarcastically about the way the game went. Starbuck almost always won. It was virtually not worth playing the game with her any more.

The sound of a throat clearing noisily was heard, and the players at the table gave a passing glance to Billy who stood at the door.

"Lieutenant Thrace, may I speak with you? It's about that, um… private matter," he said, sounding nervous.

Sharon rolled her eyes at the President's aide. He'd never succeed at playing cards with the rest of them with a face like that.

Starbuck got up from the table and walked out to meet the young man. "Billy, do you smoke?"

"No, Lieutenant," he said while watching everyone else in the room.

"More for me," she said with a wink.

Once outside the door, she was quickly silenced by President Roslin. "Lieutenant, I need something of a… shall we say, sensitive manner, and I am told you are the one who could get it for me."

Kara had to admit her curiosity was piqued, but one question came to her mind first. "Isn't that what your Presidential Advisor is for?"

Roslin looked away before turning her attention back to the viper pilot. "I would rather not concern Captain Apollo with this. He wouldn't understand," she continued with a lowered voice, "because it's a woman thing. I have a… craving."

"A craving, ma'am?" Starbuck asked just to be clear.

"Billy, will you excuse us," the President said so she could speak plainly with Kara.

Once he backed away, Laura continued in confidence, "A monthly craving. Surely you know what those are?"

Starbuck puffed on her cigar. "I believe I might. What would you like?"

"Whipped cream," Laura said decisively.

The pilot whistled. "That's a luxury. Where do you expect I'd find something like that?"

"I don't have to figure it out, Lieutenant. That's why I came to you. I have heard a rumor that Colonel Tigh might have some thanks to his _lovely_ wife Ellen," Laura said with a look that showed she didn't think Ellen was lovely at all.

Thrace chuckled before puffing again on her cigar. "I'm on it. This will be easy. Come on, Billy. You can stand guard," she said, taking the young man by the arm.

Laura waited in the shadows where she'd been talking to Thrace for what seemed like an eternity. It was actually only a few minutes for the pilot and the presidential aide to come back with the whipped cream in question.

"Oh, thank you," Laura said with an anticipatory moan of pleasure.

Kara grabbed Billy by the tie. "Let's leave the President to her craving. Someone you crave is inside," she said, indicating Dee.

-  
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The President of the Twelve Colonies walked by herself savoring the sweet taste of the whipped cream in her mouth, and eventually her feet led her to the flight deck where the vipers were parked. No one else seemed to be around at all in the huge room. Laura then got an idea to do something spontaneous and fun that she hadn't done in years.

Quickly, she removed her suit jacked and then she tested the give on her skirt. Because it was only one of three outfits she had, she thought better of removing it. She double checked that she was still alone and then shed that item of clothing.

Standing nearly naked on the flight deck, she stretched her whole body to make sure she was still limber. Then with a cry of determination, she started into sprint and did several cartwheels across the floor. Pleased with the result, Laura attempted some different tumbling moves. She still had it!

"I didn't know you were double jointed!" a voice from above her said.

Laura gasped and looked up to see Lee Adama in his flight suit sitting inside one of the vipers.

"I'm not," she said with a blush. Even though she was embarrassed at having been caught, the educator in her couldn't help to add, "That's a misnomer anyway."

Lee nodded at her and put his fist down angrily. He sighed in frustration and descended the ladder out of the cockpit.

"Captain," Roslin started, not used to seeing him like this, "what's the problem?"

"I don't know!" he said when he was on the ground. "I went out for a flight, but it wasn't handling right. I've been trying to figure out the problem."

"Isn't that Tyrol's responsibility?" she asked.

"Yes, ma'am," he said as he turned his full attention to her. He realized that she was wearing just her underwear and blouse. It was almost as shocking as seeing her in that thin blue robe when she'd first confided in him about her cancer.

She blushed and tried to cover herself, but she realized that her clothing was on the completely opposite side of the flight deck.

"I had better go," Lee said to try to get away from her and leave her to her privacy.

His temperature was up, and while Laura most certainly was part of the reason, he remembered that he was still wearing his flight suit. Apollo tried to undo the zipper only to find it stuck.

"Frack!" he said while trying to jiggle it open. "First my viper and now my suit. Things can't get any worse!"

Laura looked at him, watching one of the few moments he'd been anything less than calm and cool around her. "Do you want any help?" she offered honestly.

"No!" he said backing away from her, still aware that the woman was practically naked. "No, thank you!"

Lee continued to fight with his zipper, but it wasn't letting him win. As he struggled, he was twirling blindly. He'd finally tugged it down a few inches at the same time he backed up near the viper. The jostling motion made some blackish fluid that could have been engine oil leak out over Apollo's head and neck, slithering its way down into his flight suit.

His facial expression changed from surprise to terror. "It burns!"

Acting quickly, Laura pulled him away from the viper and started tugging at his zipper to help him get his flight suit off. The suit was meant to withstand the strain of space flight, so it was particularly resistant to their efforts. The zipper, unfortunately, still did not want to give. She tried to yank it down, only to rip her fingernail.

"Frack!" she yelled in echo of Lee's previous sentiment.

By that time there were tears in his eyes. Laura tried to work harder to get the suit off of him.

"Please," Lee started to beg. "Get this off!"

"I'm doing the best I can, Captain," Laura said as she wrenched at his zip seam.

Apollo grabbed the zipper whimpering again how the liquid was burning his skin. Meanwhile Laura pulled on the sides of it. Working together they got the flight suit open down to Lee's belly button.

He was breathing deep. "Please, I have to get these clothes off of me!"

Not even thinking in the moment to be shy, Roslin reached her hands into his suit to try to yank it down below his hips. The effort to do pull it away pitched both of them off balance so that Lee fell flat on his back with Laura landing on top of him, her face at his hips.

Because he was still whimpering, Laura moved up his body and made him sit up. Quickly, she helped him out of his inner shirts and used the fabric that was unstained to wipe the rest of the oil off his shoulders. Lee gave a deep breath of gratitude and held her in relief.

"Thank you," he said wearily, hugging her and planting a kiss on her cheek.

"You're welcome," she said with a nervous laugh because it was over, and she hugged him back.

That's how Colonel Tigh, Commander Adama, Lieutenant Thrace and Doctor Baltar found them, appearing to all the world as if they were wrapped in a lovers' embrace.

-  
-

While Lee and Laura had been battling the flight suit from Hades, on a different part of the ship Colonel Tigh knew there was something afoot. He'd gone to his room and found the whipped cream of Ellen's missing.

"Bill, it's Thrace," he declared to Adama who'd walked with him to the Colonel's quarters.

"You don't have proof," he said evenly, "but you know where to find her."

Tigh stormed out of his room to where the assorted officers and others were still playing cards. He seethed rage at the insubordinate officer as she happily raked in more of her winnings.

"Commander, Colonel, to what do we owe this pleasure?" she said with a smile on her face.

"Thrace! There's something of mine you have of a rather personal nature," he accused in front of everyone.

Baltar looked up at that moment because he was curious of the goings-on of the blonde pilot. "What could she possible have of yours? She's been here all evening?" He lit one of his own cigars as he watched Tigh.

"Oooh," she said looking saucily at Baltar. "Got a pair, did you? But I don't need your help because I don't have anything of the Colonel's."

Starbuck walked out of the room to talk to the officer privately, and Baltar followed her close behind.

"Does whipped cream mean anything to you, Lieutenant?" he accused.

"I'm not sure you're allowed to ask me that question, sir," she said with a wink.

"You know who has it," Tigh said again with certainty.

Adama looked on the two merely bored, while Baltar got a clue.

"Is _that_ why the President's aide was here earlier?" he blurted.

Kara gave him a look that would have frozen a thousand fires.

"Billy has it?" Adama said shaking his head. He still didn't think that whipped cream was all that important.

"No, sir," Thrace said to her Commander.

"That glorified school teacher!" Tigh swore and started to stalk away with purpose. Adama, Starbuck and Baltar followed while Kara continued to argue with the Colonel the entire way to the flight deck.

"Why are we here?" the Baltar said, looking around with distaste.

A moment passed and Tigh noticed the bowl of whipped cream beside the President's discarded clothing. He let out an angry growl as he snatched the bowl with the minimal remains of cream.

"Frack," Adama said coolly with a dangerously low voice.

"Sir?" Kara asked before she followed his line of sight to where he was looking across the flight deck.

President Laura Roslin was there in just the barest of clothing with her body wrapped around Captain Lee Adama, who was bare-chested with his pants around his ankles. The two were in a close embrace and Lee had just kissed her cheek.

"When she said she had a craving, I didn't realize she meant a sexual craving," Starbuck said, mystified as she watched Lee and Laura hold each other.

Her comment snapped Adama into action. He strode across the flight deck as if he was about to wage war. "Madam President! What in the names of all the Lords of Kobol were you trying to do to my son?"

She looked up in surprise at the audience that had surrounded them. Too annoyed at the Commander to be anything but honest, Roslin said, "I was trying to get him out of his flight suit!"

"I can see that!" he spat in disgust.

Lee looked at himself and Laura and realized what the scene must have looked like to them. "She saved me from a severe burn, Commander!" he said with as much dignity as he could muster while removing the flight suit off his legs.

"Captain," Adama said with contempt, "that doesn't explain why you two are practically naked together." The Commander indicated the President who had moved behind Apollo to shield her state of undress from the others.

"If I want to get naked with the President, I will, and that doesn't have anything to do with you, sir," he said, pronouncing the last word as if was an insult of the highest order.

Starbuck took that moment to break things up between the two Adamas. "The show's over. Tigh has what's left of his whipped cream. Let's go, gentlemen."

She herded the three men off the flight deck while Adama was still staring daggers of ice at his son.

When they were all finally gone, Lee let out the breath that he'd been holding. He put his hands on his hips and shook his head in exasperation. They'd honestly believed that he and the President were going to have sex on the flight deck! He might have his kinks and quirks, but that wasn't one of them.

"I'm sorry, Madam President," he apologized to her about the others' behavior.

"Captain Apollo," she said suddenly feeling more naked than she did when she was straddling him in a pseudo-sexual pose. She walked quickly past him to put on her skirt and suit jacket and slip into her shoes. She tried to collect herself as Lee walked slowly over to her.

They both looked at each other awkwardly, and to Lee this was infinitely worse than the incident with the blue robe. That he remembered often.

"So if you want to get naked with the President you will, will you?" she said crossing her arms across the chest.

He smiled sheepishly. "That is what I said, ma'am, but only if the President wants it, too."

Laura finally laughed. The situation was absurd, but with Captain Apollo by her side everything still managed to work out. She didn't know how he did that.

"I may have to renegotiate the terms of your contract, Captain," she deadpanned as she tried to walk away in a dignified manner.

It was Lee's turn to chuckle. "Then you'd have to show me if you really are double-jointed, Madam President."

She smiled at him. "If I did that, you'd have to call me Laura."

"And you'd have to call me Lee, especially since I already know you're very good at getting me out of my clothes in a hurry," he said feigning innocence.

Roslin didn't really have anything to say to that statement until she concluded with a wink, "We all have our talents. Lee."


	4. Skirting the Issue

**Note:** This isn't a challenge fic like the first three were, but it came about after some silly discussion on my part on the LauraRoslinLeeAdama Yahoo Group after I was finally able to see the miniseries. (Thank you, Heather.)

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**Skirting the Issue**

Laura Roslin sat alone with a shawl wrapped around her shoulders for warmth. The world, or what was left of it, felt so cold and she was only just beginning to realize with everyone else that she was one of the few government officials still alive.

Captain Lee Adama walked purposefully to where she was and sat across from her.

"How far down the line were you?" he asked in his earnest voice.

Laura just slumped in her seat and told him.

She was so honest with him, that he listened. Like any good listener, he tried to keep his eyes on her face, but it didn't quite work like he'd planned. He was a normal male, but one who hadn't had a good frak in longer than he'd like to admit. His eyes dropped and then he noticed.

_High heels?_ Check.

_Long silky legs?_ Check.

_Silky panties under skirt?_ Negative.

He quickly returned his eyes to her face. She was still talking to him about the trauma, but it was something about the way she was sitting. Using all his subtlety, he looked again. No, he hadn't made a mistake. The future President of the Twelve Colonies of Kobol was not wearing any underwear.

-

**Three Weeks Later**

Starbuck had been retrieved and the fleet was moving as far away from the Cylons as possible. In one of the moments of rest, she and several other pilots were playing cards in the commons.

"We almost didn't get you back, Starbuck," one told her.

She took a puff of her cigar and looked at her damaged knee. "It was simple. All flying machines work on the same four principles, Nugget!"

The trainee in question was silenced, and Lee put in his bet as he watched the exchange. He'd already seen Kara do the nearly impossible in saving his own hide. He stroked his jaw as he studied his cards and waited for the others to play or pass.

"But the new President! She would have left without you," a different trainee complained.

Lee sighed at the rook's idiocy. He had a lot to learn about the President. He'd personally seen her calm and cool in a tough situation. He'd personally seen a _lot_ of the President lately, and that included her both in and out of clothes whether she knew it or not. There was the blue robe. A man could handle that reasonably well if he walked away from temptation as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, he'd seen up her skirt. He knew what was hiding under those robes.

Apollo's mind drifted a little until he heard one of the other pilots complain, "She's so repressed that I bet her underwear's on too tight!"

"The President doesn't wear underwear!" Lee blurted indignantly as if all the people at his table were idiots.

All turned to stare at him, and it was as quiet as the void of space. Kara got her wits first. "Way to stay with the conversation, Lee! We were talking about the Master Sergeant!"

He looked down at his cards, his bluffing face completely gone because of his mistake.

Starbuck puffed on her cigar again and blew the smoke in his face. "So? Have you been frakking the President?"

"It's one of my job perks," he lied as he put his cards on the table, for once beating the nearly unstoppable Thrace.

Baltar looked at him and shook his head from side to side. "Right," he began sarcastically. "You have as much chance of frakking the President as Boomer has of being a Cylon."

Everyone at the table except Apollo and Boomer laughed. She nervously dealt another round of cards while Lee thanked the Lords of Kobol that his slip hadn't done any lasting damage.


End file.
